Before she became a reality TV star, Kaitlyn Bristowe dealt with her fair share of struggles. In fact, the former Bachelorette is now opening up about her serious battle with addiction and hitting rock bottom.
In her new YouTube series, Nine to Wine, Kaitlyn opens up about suffering from depression and becoming addicted to Valium after going through a very emotional breakup.
The now 34-year-old had moved to Germany for her ex, but when things ended, she packed up and moved back home to Canada to live with her mother and stepfather.
“I had nothing and that life was over for me, that I’d given up all my hopes and dreams, and that the love of my life was now gone.”
Kaitlyn, who was just 27 years old at the time, was then prescribed Valium by her doctor to deal with her depression.
“I was open to being on [an antidepressant], but Valium I had never really known what that was or what it would do to me. I didn’t feel anything. I got to sleep, I got to not feel my feelings, and that felt great to me,” she explained.
Unfortunately, she became addicted to the drug, and it also resulted in her losing a lot of weight.
“I had become addicted to Valium, and I was about 93 pounds, And that was when somebody had to shake me and say, ‘You can’t live like this. This is not you.’ I couldn’t live like that anymore,” she shared.
“I was sick of being numb. I wanted to feel feelings again. I wanted to go back to Vancouver and get a job and start over and meet people and get out. So I did.”
Kaitlyn got a job working in a restaurant and was then cast on Chris Soules’ season of The Bachelor. Not only is Kaitlyn stronger now because of what she went through in the past, she now knows she’s the only person who can control her happiness.
“I always think if I could go back to my 27-year-old self and talk to her, I would say, ‘You can’t let anyone be responsible for your own happiness. That is up to you. And now I can say that because I’m in a loving, fulfilling, happy relationship. But 27-year-old Kaitlyn was just starting to learn that and figure that out.”
After splitting from her Bachelorette fiancé Shawn Booth in 2018, Kaitlyn started dating fellow Bachelor Nation alum Jason Tartick, with whom she now lives in Nashville.